What do Brits really mean?

"Sorry" is said at least 20 times a day by a Brit! It could mean "Excuse me", "I didn't hear you", "It was your fault", "I didn't mean to call you and interrupt what you were doing"... We say it when someone walks into us, when we ask the waiter for something, when someone has dropped something on the floor...

Here are some quotes from a funny book by Rob Temple I've read (and I'm ashamed to say I do all of these things):

Very British Problems:  Making Life Awkward for Ourselves, One Rainy Day at a Time (2013)

Apologising... ... for informing someone they've dropped their purse.   (I'm sorry, but you've dropped your purse.") ... because you think someone may be standing on your foot.  (I'm so sorry to bother you, but I think you're standing on my foot.) ... to the jolly chap who just rammed a shopping trolley into your leg.  (Sorry.  Sorry.  My fault.  Excuse me.  Sorry.) to ram into = to crash into  shopping trolley = shopping cart ... for apologising so much.

Here's a story I wrote last year about a very British thing that I did: A few weeks ago, while walking in our neighbourhood, I started a conversation with a neighbour:

Me - Sorry.  Excuse me.  I don't mean to be rude, but your dog gets out of your garden every day.

Neighbour - Yeah, I know.  He can open the gate.

Me - Won't he run into the road? 

Neighbour - No.

Me:  Well, thanks very much!  Thank you!  Have a nice night!  Thank you! (While thinking "You stupid man!  Lock your gate so your dog doesn't get out and frighten me every day!  Typical!  Stupid man!)

This is so British - apologising and thanking someone for doing the complete opposite of what you want him to do.

I wanted the neighbour to apologise and say that he would make sure his dog doesn't get out of his garden again, but that didn't happen.

So, a few weeks later, he got another dog, and now both dogs get out of the garden, and the new dog runs across the road and into the neighbourhood.

Great!  

Sorry to make you read more about British behaviour, but I remember a time when I was doing some food shopping here in the US. I hit another shopping trolley with mine and immediately said, "Sorry!".

a shopping trolley

I looked up and a lady was staring at me. I don't think she could believe that I had apologised to an empty trolley with no "owner", so naturally I said, "Sorry" to her. A few minutes later I was comparing two tins of sardines.

I said to one of the tins, "Sorry, I can't buy you today; you've got far too much sodium for me." Of course, when I turned around, the same woman was glaring at me, so yet again I had to say "Sorry" to her. She must have thought I was stark raving bonkers! (crazy & eccentric)